My boyfriend and I have been dating for about nine months, and while most of our relationship has been enjoyable, there’s one recurring issue that’s been bothering me for a while now.
He has two daughters from a previous relationship, and they love going out to eat. At first, I thought it was sweet that we were forming a tradition of dining out once a week as a little blended family. But there’s a catch—every single time we go out, my boyfriend conveniently “forgets” his wallet. It started off as something I brushed off, thinking anyone can forget their wallet once in a while. I paid for dinner and didn’t think much of it. But then it happened again. And again. In fact, it’s happened every single time we’ve gone out. Despite the frequency, I gave him the benefit of the doubt because I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, especially in front of the kids. However, I eventually started to suspect this wasn’t just forgetfulness—it felt deliberate. Before our latest dinner outing, I sent him a text to gently remind him to bring his wallet. I even made it lighthearted, hoping he’d take the hint. He laughed it off, which already didn’t sit right with me. Still, I gave him the benefit of the doubt one more time.
When we got to the restaurant, his daughters immediately began ordering the most expensive dishes on the menu. I stayed quiet until right before the food arrived and then asked my boyfriend if he had his wallet on him. He looked at me like I had just asked him to solve a complex equation. He started patting his pockets, then shook his head and said something like, “Oh, I must’ve left it in the other jeans I almost wore.” Then he smiled and said, “Can you just get it this time?” At that point, something in me snapped. It wasn’t just about the money anymore—it was the blatant disrespect. I grabbed my purse, stood up, and said I wasn’t paying for dinner this time. I told him to enjoy the evening with his daughters and walked out. He was stunned.
He asked where I was going, and when I made it clear I wasn’t going to keep footing the bill, he didn’t try to stop me. Later that night, he called me furious, accusing me of having no compassion for his children. According to him, he had to cancel the meal and take the girls home without dinner. He told me I was selfish and heartless for letting the kids go hungry. That really got to me. I never wanted to hurt the children, but I also didn’t want to be taken advantage of anymore. I tried to explain that I felt used and disrespected, but he wouldn’t hear it. He kept saying I needed to rethink how I treat his kids and that my unwillingness to pay showed my true colors. I turned to Reddit to share my story and ask whether I was wrong for walking out.
@comfortlevelpodcast Nope. #AITA #redditstories #podcast #fyp ♬ original sound – ComfortLevelPodcast
To my relief, most people were on my side. The overwhelming consensus was that my boyfriend had been manipulating me and exploiting my kindness. Many commenters pointed out that his “forgetfulness” seemed awfully convenient and that he likely never had any intention of paying. Some even called him a manipulative jerk and warned me that he would continue to drain me financially and emotionally if I stayed. A few comments praised me for standing up for myself and walking away from the situation, saying that if I hadn’t, he would have guilted me into paying again. Reading those responses made me feel validated. I wasn’t crazy or selfish—I was simply tired of being used. What’s most frustrating is that he tried to turn the entire situation around on me, using his children as emotional leverage. I care about his kids, but I don’t believe that should mean I’m obligated to cover their meals every single time. Relationships are supposed to be about partnership, not one-sided sacrifices. Now I’m left questioning whether this relationship has a future if respect and responsibility are so lopsided.
