Working in end-of-life care often means being surrounded by grief, but it can also offer moments of quiet beauty and awe. Katie Duncan, a nurse practitioner from Maryland and self-described “death care coach,” has spent years tending to patients in their final days. She’s worked in a variety of settings—from intensive care units to home hospices and long-term care facilities—and over time, she’s noticed a recurring, deeply moving pattern in her patients’ final moments.
In a recent video she posted to TikTok, Katie shared what she describes as one of the most “mystical” and humbling experiences she regularly witnesses: many dying patients reach upward, as if trying to touch or hold something that isn’t visibly there. “In my experience, it’s very common,” she explained in the video. “You’ll literally see someone raise their hand, or both hands, like they’re trying to grab something in the air or reach for someone unseen.” Sometimes the gesture is paired with what are often described as end-of-life visions—patients may speak of seeing a deceased loved one, a pet that had passed, a brilliant light, or even an angelic presence. Other times, they don’t say a word, but they still reach out, as if they sense something or someone waiting to meet them.
Though there’s no scientific explanation for this phenomenon, it’s a behavior that many in hospice and palliative care have come to recognize and respect. Katie emphasized that this reaching motion doesn’t typically indicate fear or discomfort. In fact, it’s usually the opposite. “If anything, they seem calm,” she said. “There’s a sense of peace that surrounds them in that moment.” She went on to say that it’s one of those rare instances in healthcare that feels otherworldly—something you can’t measure or chart, but still recognize as deeply meaningful. For caregivers like her, witnessing such gestures reminds them that death is not just a medical event, but a deeply spiritual transition. Katie’s reflections clearly struck a chord with many people.
Her video received countless responses from viewers sharing similar experiences with their own loved ones. One commenter shared, “My dad hadn’t moved in days, and suddenly he lifted both arms up with this peaceful look on his face. We knew he wasn’t alone.” Another said, “My grandma did the same thing. She smiled while looking upward, and it felt like she was being welcomed somewhere beautiful.” Someone else commented, “It’s the space in between.
You feel lucky to witness it, even though your heart is breaking.” Several people mentioned that they didn’t want to interrupt their loved ones during those moments because they felt too sacred to disturb. “It felt like heaven was opening up,” one person wrote. “I just sat beside my mom and held her hand while she reached for something I couldn’t see.” These shared stories highlight how such experiences, though difficult to explain, can provide comfort to those left behind. For many, watching their loved one reach into the unknown gives them a sense of peace and reassurance—that maybe something, or someone, is gently guiding them toward whatever comes next. It’s moments like these that remind us how death, while heartbreaking, can also be wrapped in grace. Katie says these experiences have changed the way she views death itself. Rather than seeing it as something purely clinical or tragic, she now sees it as a journey—one that’s often met with love, light, or familiar faces waiting on the other side. And while science may not be able to explain the reaching hands or the smiles directed toward the ceiling, those who work closely with the dying know there’s something quietly profound in those final gestures. Whether you see it as spiritual, psychological, or simply unknown, one thing is clear: in the last moments of life, many people seem to find a sense of peace that comforts everyone lucky enough to be nearby.
