We all had that one best friend growing up in the ’90s—the person we’d stay up late talking to on the phone, gossip about strict parents with, and even coordinate matching outfits. While many things have changed since then, the essence of those friendships remains. We still stay up late with our BFF, we still gossip, and yes, we still accidentally wear the same outfits (but now pretend it wasn’t planned). The only real difference? We’re older now and probably drink way more wine.

Best friends are like the siblings we never had—or maybe we did, but didn’t particularly like them much. While your siblings stole your toys and paraded around in your training bra (ahem, asking for a friend), your BFF was the one making prank calls and offering a shoulder to cry on when your crush held hands with someone else on the playground.

While times may have changed, both in the ’90s and today, one thing is certain—we wouldn’t be who we are without our best friends.

1. The Fights We Get Into

’90s: Your BFF promised to take care of your Tamagotchi while you were on vacation, and she let it die. It was tough to look at her the same after that.
Today: Adults don’t fight like that anymore. Instead, we leave passive-aggressive comments on Facebook and purposely don’t like each other’s Instagram posts.

2. How We Make Up Afterward

’90s: You passed notes in class, complete with sad face doodles and “LYLAS” (Love You Like A Sister), to smooth things over.
Today: Peace offerings now include a $12 Starbucks drink and a selfie together to signal the fight is over.

3. Friday Night Fun

’90s: We hit the mall, bought fake nose rings at Claire’s, and snuck into R-rated movies. Total rebels.
Today: Who even goes out anymore? A Netflix binge and a bottle (or two) of wine? That’s what we call FriYAY.

4. Playing Wingwoman

’90s: After determining the love of your life with a cootie catcher, your BFF staged a “chance” encounter in science class and kept other girls away.
Today: Your BFF is an expert at stalking your crush on Facebook with just his middle name and a vague mutual friend connection.

5. Squad Goals

’90s: Life revolved around finding three more girls to pretend to be the Spice Girls with you.
Today: You only need one person for the “Single Ladies” dance, and honestly, your BFF is more than enough.

6. What We Gossip About

’90s: You gossiped about the girl who wore the same scrunchie or stole your slap bracelet.
Today: It’s more likely about the latest Game of Thrones episode or some celebrity drama.

7. Supporting Each Other Through Heartbreak

’90s: No one understood your heartbreak like your BFF, who always brought an extra Cosmic Brownie to school for you.
Today: Yoga, manis/pedis, and cheap wine—followed by a night out where your BFF helps you fend off unwanted attention at the bar.

8. How We Stay in Touch

’90s: You rang each other’s doorbells or made awkward calls to their house, hoping their dad wouldn’t answer.
Today: Words are so last decade. Now, we communicate almost entirely in emojis.

9. Things We Get in Trouble For

’90s: Trouble was innocent—like Ding Dong Ditch or putting a whoopee cushion on your teacher’s chair.
Today: If your BFF is also your work buddy, getting caught sneaking out for an impromptu coffee run before a meeting is a weekly occurrence.

10. Defending Each Other from Haters

’90s: Playground drama? You ran straight to your parents for backup.
Today: When haters appear, you throw a girls’ night, post a dozen photos, and let the world know they weren’t invited.

11. Showing Off Your Bond

’90s: Friendship bracelets all the way.
Today: Matching tattoos are trendy, but if that’s too much, you’ll update your Facebook relationship status to “in a relationship” just for the laughs.